


Whatever It Takes

by zfreak93



Series: Eldrigar - On Wings of Fire [1]
Category: Pathfinder (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 22:27:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7988377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zfreak93/pseuds/zfreak93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is the tradition of the Dragon Empire for the heir to the throne to prove that they are worthy of it. With the previous two Emperors dead and Yuki, the banished (but rightful) heir having chosen not to return, Ryota is left with no choice but to step up and take power for the good of the Empire - despite his status as a bastard son. After three years of civil war he's proven he's a capable fighter to his people, but to the Spirits who watch over the land, and to the Oracles who still contest the rule of the royal family, until he takes the Dragon Challenges he has no right to claim the Meiyoken name. Can he overcome the Challenges, or will he falter and perish, ending the royal line?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whatever It Takes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Yuki's Backstory](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5149487) by [KirbyPaint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KirbyPaint/pseuds/KirbyPaint). 



 

 

_This is it. This is really happening._

 

“Are you really sure you want to do this?”

 

He nodded, taking in a deep breath to hopefully make the butterflies in his stomach stop moving around so much. He was anything but successful.

 

“You shouldn't have to prove yourself to them. Not any more than you already have.”

 

While part of him agreed with that statement, a much larger part felt quite the opposite – although maybe it wasn't entirely the Empire he felt like he needed to convince. No, if he were being honest, this was something he needed to do for himself. He needed to know. He had to be sure.

 

“Ryota...” He turned at the sound of his name, away from the dark-haired man in the mirror who he'd been attempting a staring contest with for the past ten minutes. If he hadn't known any better he would have thought he'd been looking at a complete stranger. His eyes, wide and frightened and _green_ again, jumped restlessly from point to point, not choosing any place in particular to focus on. His face was too pale, or maybe that was the ceremonial make-up that had taken far too long to neatly apply. It was all white, save for the red around his eyes and the black line he'd done over his scar. At this point seeing himself without it felt like seeing himself without an arm – wrong on too many levels.

 

It didn't help that for the entirety of his Dragon Challenges, he'd been denied both weapons and armor. Not that combat ability really would have been something he needed to be tested on, Ryota supposed, given the circumstances, but he would have still felt more comfortable with at least the armor. He wasn't even allowed his armband, a fact of which he was reminded every time he reached up to touch it, only for his fingers to brush the fabric of his sleeve instead. It was less than comforting.

 

“You _do_ know this is bullshit, right?” Tenna said, hands on her hips, “For them to _demand_ you put your life on the line, _again_ , and in _their_ hands no less, it's completely ridiculous! I still can't believe you accepted their terms. Are you crazy? Are you _trying_ to get yourself killed?”

 

“It was the only way the war was going to end peacefully,” Ryota sighed, meeting her eyes “You know just as well as I do that the Oracles aren't actually my enemies-”

 

“Like hell they're not, they've been trying to kill you for three years!”

 

“-Who or whatever is manipulating them _is._ Evelynn and her people had a huge part in starting the war. If I can end it without having to murder people who don't have to die, I'm going to, even if that means having to prove myself worthy in their eyes to take the throne - whether they're against me or not,” he said, and then with the smallest attempt at a smile, “Besides, I'm going to have to do it anyway. It's tradition.”

 

Maybe reminding her of that wasn't the best idea. The wind around her picked up, reminiscent of the last time they'd had _that_ particular conversation, whipping her hair about her face. It took more of his willpower than he would have liked not to shrink away from the tempest. “Oh? And is it _also_ tradition to _have your soul ripped in half_ for the Challenges too or is that just unique to your case?” she snapped. Her cloak ruffled behind her, nearly exposing her wings despite the weight of the fabric, “What were you gonna do if he just decided to take all of it? Just because this Kyveryn guy claimed to be a neutral party doesn't mean he is. We don't know anything about these 'Ice Wardens' or 'Frostguard' or whatever they're called, what if they hired him to kill you then?”

 

“I'm mostly certain he would have done it, then. But I'm still here, and he did give his word to put everything back the way he found it after today. I'm trusting him to do that.”

 

Tenna huffed, bringing her arms across her chest. The wind died down to a slight breeze. “Well, I don't. What if-”

 

“Tenna,” Ryota said softly, “It's okay.”

 

“I still don't trust them.”

 

He reached over to take one of her hands in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Then trust me to do this. I'll be fine.” _I hope._

 

Outside the ceremonial trumpets sounded, causing the both of them to look up toward the sound. Ryota's stomach turned. He was suddenly glad that breakfast that morning had been light.

 

“I guess that means it's time,” Tenna mumbled, “I should go. Just... try not to die out there. If you do-”

 

“You'll 'find me in Hell and smack my bitch-ass face'?” he asked.

 

For a moment she looked like she was about to carry out that threat right there. At first he thought maybe she'd missed the joke, what with it being her own words from the last conversation, but when a grin began to break through her mask, the feeling of dread died down. It didn't stay for long – as soon as she noticed, she put a stop to it, pursing her lips and glaring back. “I mean it, Ryota. Promise me.”

 

His smile faded, but nonetheless, “I promise.”

 

While it didn't seem to quite reassure her, she sighed and took a few steps toward the back part of the tent, before stopping to look him one more time in the eyes. “Well, what are you waiting for? Get out there.” She nodded, flashing a smile which left his heart vibrating in place, then left.

 

Once she was gone, Ryota turned to the front entrance, taking one last deep breath to steady himself. Squaring his shoulders, he raised his head, and fixing his vision ahead of him he strode forward and out of the tent – the picture of confidence – into the arena. The people of the Empire seated within rose into a wild surge of cheers at his appearance.

 

“On this day, Ryota Meiyoken will face a number of challenges, each more difficult than the last. He will prove his worth as the heir to the Meiyoken line or he will face his doom, for these tests will prove the Dragons have chosen him as the next heir to the Dragon Throne, and with their decision our future will be known!”

 

_That's strange_ , he thought, thinking back to a time when he'd witnessed the Challenges before - on his half-sister's eighteenth birthday. The introduction had been slightly different then. Instead of dwelling on it, though, he found himself wondering if, had Yuki been in the country, she'd be in the stands cheering him on as well. _Probably not. If she were here I wouldn't be doing this at all. But..._ He shook his head, deciding that now was, in fact, _not_ the best time to be getting distracted by thoughts of his sister.

 

“Begin the first challenge!” The trumpets rang again, and Ryota watched as the sorcerer, a man he recognized as part of the Oracles' entourage, took his place on the dais next to the announcer and began to cast. The floor of the arena began to shudder and quake, cracking itself apart to reveal the red and orange glow of flames underneath. Ryota understood very quickly that the first test he would be facing was that of fear. He waited for the spell to finish, trying to keep his nerves steady.

 

When the signal came, he stepped forward.

 

Immediately the flames leapt to life around him, jetting upwards at seemingly random intervals to form the walls of the maze, only staying in place while he was within a few feet of the barrier. Plumes of fire sometimes shot across the 'hallways', such that they were, adding to the already all-too-real danger of being burned.

 

Aside from occasionally having to dodge down a dead-end corridor or two to avoid a particularly large fire blast, he took the first portion of the maze at a relatively consistent pace. The flames didn't really worry him that much – most of them weren't large or hot enough to really bother him to begin with. The worst of it in those early stages was a smaller jet which cut across the back of his calf. It only stung for a few seconds before he'd adjusted to the annoyance, continuing as if nothing had happened.

 

As he rounded another corner, Ryota found his stride slowing. He tilted his head to the side, listening, realizing that aside from the fire jets, the only other sound he should have been hearing was the click of the heels of his boots against the stone floor while he walked. Instead, he heard a quiet _splish splish splish_ mirroring the timing of his footsteps. As he continued forward, the splashing grew louder, and it became more and more difficult to actually move his legs. Another blast of fire nearly caught him in his encumbered movement, and would have if he hadn't dropped to the ground to dodge it.

 

Or rather, dropped into the two feet of water _covering_ the ground, to dodge it.

 

The shock of the cold water drove the majority of the air from his lungs, giving him more than good enough of a reason to return to the standing position. Unfortunately, as Ryota stood, the water quickly began to rise, easily flooding over him even at his full 6'4” height, blocking off any chance he may have had of surfacing to catch his breath. No, he was stuck with what little air remained, which grew smaller and smaller by the second.

 

He couldn't move. His heart hammered in his chest, and his lungs began to ache. He needed to breathe. But breathing wasn't an option – not unless he wanted to let himself drown there.

 

It was when his wrist was caught in another small, more intense, gout of flame that he wasn't given a choice. Ryota hissed from the sudden flash of pain, instinct drawing him to try to inhale, but instead he received only a lungful of water. The ache in his lungs intensified, spreading throughout his torso in a scream for help only he could hear. Dark spots began to appear at the edges of his vision. He was beginning to lose focus. _Can't breathe._

 

The water around him sizzled with the heat of another incoming fire blast. Bogged down as he was, he knew he wouldn't be able to move out of the way in time.

 

_Wait._

 

He was underwater. In a fire maze. _Underwater_. And the walls of the maze were unchanged, the fire rushing as quickly as before.

 

There was absolutely no way this was real. That just wasn't how fire worked. Enough water would put out even magical flames, so for there to still be the walls of the maze even here – _this is ridiculous._

 

And just like that, the illusion was broken.

 

As soon as the pressure from the water vanished, Ryota dropped to his knees and ducked, feeling the flames _whoosh_ right over his head as they just barely passed him by. For a moment he remained on the ground after they'd gone, coughing, gasping for breath, fighting to keep his vision from going black. When he felt he could continue, it was on shaky legs – _can't fail the first test –_ but as he moved forward the lightheadedness progressively began to fade.

 

The recovery was slow going, with the heat of the flames growing in temperature farther into the maze. The sweat running down his face mixed with the face paint, smudging it until it was dripping into his eyes and mouth and off into his clothes. At first it was a minor problem, but after almost running straight into one of the fire walls because of the obstruction to his vision, it was time to take it off. Ryota went to wipe the paint away with his sleeve, but when he brought his arm back down, he stopped dead in his tracks.

 

“Come _on_ , Ryota, get your shit together we have to _move_!” Yuki's voice brought him back to reality. _What... Where..._ “Hey! Let's _go!_ ” She lifted her greatsword and charged through the open doorway and out of the pouring rain. Brom was right at her heels, sword raised, and Tenna followed close behind with an arrow drawn, poised, ready to shoot. Ryota was left standing there confused, looking around the courtyard.

 

“Gilrevaen....” he murmured, recognizing the crumbling ancient city. Fragments of stone littered the ground, most likely of the toppled pillars and broken in structures – what might have been homes or places of commerce before the passing of time tore them down – scattered about the city. The only true signs of life were those of his companions and himself, not to be confused with the raging of the undead as they stormed through the streets toward the ruins of the castle.

 

The castle, where Evelynn Shadow Walker was attempting the ritual to wrest control of the Dead Scar from its current ruler. Like the undead, his group made their way to the castle as well, if only to prevent the Lich of Gaul from achieving her goal.

 

The rain continued its deluge. Ryota looked down at himself, seeing his old, battered chainmail and the naginata gripped tightly in his hand. The shaft of his weapon bore the scars of more than nine years of use; cuts and scratches left over from countless battles marred its surface. Tied just under the blade was a long, crimson ribbon, frayed from age, its color looking so horribly out of place here against the lifeless gray stone. What was he doing?

 

He jumped as a hand touched his shoulder. “Hey. Are you okay?” Julian's dark eyes met his, concerned. “Evelynn is just through that door. We're almost there, now's not a good time to be losing focus.”

 

“Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just...” Ryota shook his head again, “Never mind. Let's go.”

 

Julian stared at him for just a moment longer, his expression completely unreadable. Ryota wasn't entirely certain he wanted to know what he was thinking, and without another word he joined the others inside. Julian came in just after him.

 

He thought he did, anyway. As soon as he entered the chamber, which didn't look nearly as destroyed as the rest of the city, it was as if all the light in the world was sucked away. The door slammed shut behind him, leaving him in the darkness, alone, unable to see the others. Occasionally an echoing shriek rang about the darkness, filled with pain, with grief, with fear. The pitches changed with each, and in one he could have sworn he heard Yuki's voice. He gripped his naginata even tighter, until his knuckles turned white.

 

“...Yuki?” he called, “Where-”

 

“Oh, I wouldn't worry about them. I'm sure they're fine.”

 

Ryota turned about in place, searching for the origin of the sound. _Why does that voice sound so familiar?_ As he focused he could make out the dim shape of an altar in the center of the room, surrounded by four pillars topped with glimmering jewels. Slowly his eyes adjusted to the gloom, but even so he had to squint to see clearly.

 

Morri stood at the top of the altar, facing him down. Where before there had been comfort and almost a naive optimism about her face, now her lips remained in a tight, pinched, disappointed line. Her eyes were devoid of color, of the warmth he was so used to, replaced with only a cold emptiness. Even her hair had lost its luster. Now she stood motionless in front of him, in the gorgeous purple dress they'd fished from the sea only days before on her birthday, her mere presence a sharp reprimand to his existence. Ryota's breath hitched in his throat as he stared at her.

 

Evelynn. That was Evelynn. _Not Morri. Balthazar killed Morri and replaced her with this. That's not Morri._ _That's_ not _Morri._

 

At her feet was the lifeless corpse of his mother. Instantly a familiar rage surged within him, heating everything from his toes to his fingertips, ready to tear her apart. Ready to maim her for what she'd done – _how could she?!_

 

He moved as if to get closer. Before his foot even hit the ground, she spoke again, “I wouldn't do that if I were you, Ryota. You might make me hurt our guests.” _Even her voice sounds hollow._ She stepped to the side, motioning with one arm to the people behind her, on the other side of and below the altar. His eyes followed her movement, widening at what he saw.

 

Bound by chains and collared, and obviously malnourished and abused, were the rest of his half-siblings – his brothers and sisters with whom he'd spent his childhood. Tear-streaked faces looked back at him. The younger ones' expressions were a blend of terror and resignation. In the older three, he saw the slightest hint of recognition – they knew who he was – which gave way to anger in a heartbeat. In their eyes he saw them condemn him for what happened to them. It was _his_ fault they were in this mess.

 

“Lay down your arms, and I'll let them live. You _do_ want that, don't you?” Evelynn cocked her head to one side, “Just don't interfere. That's all you have to do.”

 

Ryota wanted her dead. His eyes flicked back and forth between his siblings and her. All he felt was anger. He wanted her dead. He stepped forward again, oblivious to the shout that went up from his youngest brother. _He wanted her dead._ A wall of flame suddenly shot up between them, blocking his advance. He didn't care. He would go through it if he had to. He was going to make her _pay_.

 

When that didn't work, the fire proving too intense for him to handle without severely burning himself and most of one of his bracers, he began to try to maneuver around it. Eyes locked on his prey, he paced back and forth by the fire wall, looking for any point where he could get through. Eventually he found one, but not before all three of the triplets marked their deaths with the splatting of blood and brains on the wall behind them. He didn't so much as flinch. Rather, it only added to the fury boiling in his blood.

 

“You can save them, Ryota. Surely you see it's your own stubbornness hurting them?” Evelynn lifted her hand, throwing a bolt of fire straight at him. It was rather small, and he easily swatted it out of the air, dispelling it, still glaring death her way.

 

_Since when can she throw fire bolts?_ The rational part of his mind wondered, _She's a necromancer. Is that something they can do?_

 

The rest of him didn't seem to care. The only thing that mattered was destroying her. She sighed, shaking her head as she activated the collars on the twins. At this point he heard their cries, screaming at the top of their lungs in pain. His resolve shook, but it didn't break, still pushing him to get around the damned fire. When he reached her, when he got his hands around her disgusting throat...

 

“Ryota, stop!” He swiveled his head to look at whomever _dared_ command him. His gaze met the furious eyes of his elder brother, Koichi. For a moment, he was stunned. Why would he protect _her_? She was going to kill them all! She was going to take everything away, she'd already started, she was evil and had to be destroyed! Couldn't he see that?

 

“Just stop,” Koichi pleaded, “She'll stop if you do. She's already killed the little ones, and our mother! Do you want her to kill us, too? Do you _want_ to see all of us die?”

 

Ryota couldn't believe what he was hearing, “Why...?”

 

“Please, little brother. Just stop. Please.” Jun's collar activated. Ryota clearly heard her begin to sob as the pain started. The slightest moment of indecision was enough for him to snap out of the rage, as well as the perfect moment for Evelynn to strike.

 

Koichi was just opening his mouth to speak again when the chains shot from the floor around Ryota's feet, clasping about his wrists and dragging him down to the ground. “Shi-!” He immediately tried to pull himself free, but the more he struggled, the tighter the chains became. That didn't stop him trying, but they wouldn't give him any more leeway than to sit on his knees. _No!_

 

Evelynn sneered in derision. “Well, then. That wasn't so hard, now, was it?” She snapped her fingers, activating the remaining two timers. Chiharu and Koichi would be dead in seconds. He knew that, he knew it, _he knew._ And now there was nothing he could do. Now that the anger had abated, he watched with a heavy heart as the two of them trembled as the rogue aether coursed through their bodies.

 

“This... this is _your_ fault....” he heard Koichi say, “ _IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!_ ” he howled, until, just like all the others, everything above the collar ceased to be in one piece.

 

He pulled at the chains again. They were beginning to heat up, and looking down at them he saw the slight red glow creeping its way up the links that was getting brighter by the second. If he didn't get out of them soon then they'd start to burn.

 

His brother's words continued to echo about the room. _“All your fault.”_ Each repetition made Ryota flinch, shrinking further and further into himself. _“All your fault. All your fault.”_

 

“...I know...” he whispered, “I know.” Evelynn turned to look at him, a sad smile appearing on her lips. She stepped down from the altar, walking toward him with the grace of an Angel. He winced as the chains about his wrists began to sear into his skin, and did nothing as she knelt next to him, touching his face almost gently. Her skin felt like ice against his cheek.

 

“It doesn't have to hurt, you know. They're not in pain anymore. You don't have to be, either. Don't you see? I only want to help the world. I can end the pain. I can make things better for everyone.”

 

He wondered what that would be like; no more pain, no more suffering. It sounded wonderful. And yet deep down something about it felt so wrong – why kill innocent children if that were really her plan? Could he really just allow that? _Why am I even considering it?_

 

_I don't..._ The realization came suddenly. _This... I've already faced this. It was different._ He remembered something like this happening before. _This isn't how... No. We won. All of us, together. They still died, but... but we stopped her. We made it out. We made it out._

 

Evelynn's brow furrowed when he didn't respond. Her grip became rougher. Turning his face upward revealed not an expression of misery, but something almost hopeful – the chains shattered into dust as he stood, breaking free of the shadows in his mind, “I survived this once already,” he said quietly, “I can and will again. You are not real. You... you're not real.” He closed his eyes and laughed.

 

Evelynn hissed, stepping back from him. Raising her arms once more, the bodies of his siblings twitched and jerked, the pieces of their skulls sliding across the ground to reform their heads. Glowing blue lights appeared where their eyes would have been, their flesh recreating their faces. They began to speak, whimpering and wailing of his failures, both of the past, and what were surely to come.

 

It was all Ryota could do to ignore them. The light of the flames below the arena floor reappeared. Focusing on that instead, he swallowed the contents of his stomach, walking past them without so much as a glance, exiting the chamber. Only one of them reached out to touch him, but feeling the heat coming away from the hand, he sidestepped it, assuming it was a fire blast in disguise. He'd already acquired enough burns while he was stuck in that dream, he didn't need to add any more. Still, he'd already made a personal promise not to heal himself until the Challenges were over – he felt like that would be cheating, otherwise.

  
The end of the maze was in sight. Only a short way left to go, and then the first test was over. _I can do this. I have to._ One more deep breath. He was going to finish this.

 

Relieved, he made the last turn, facing only a straightaway that lead out of the maze. The flames were lighter now – in fact the majority of them were blue, with flashing orange tongues only at the final few inches at the top of the jets. This particular space was wider than the others by a surprisingly large margin, creating its own, final testing ground. As soon as he crossed the first few feet into it, the scenery about him changed again.

 

Once more, the storm-wracked city of Gilrevaen came to be, this time in one of the inner gardens of the castle – if a dead, muddy area with several stone pathways meandering around where plants _may_ have grown at one point could be called a garden. _This again? I thought..._ He blinked, looking about his surroundings. A light fog covered the immediate area, lending even more shadows to the already gloomy atmosphere. Beyond the mist were several glowing blue lights which moved and danced to an inaudible rhythm, but none were close enough to be particularly useful.

 

Tendrils of fog gently twisted around his body, catching on his clothes and in his hair, brushing along the back of his neck with the familiarity of a mother's kiss. Something itched in the back of his mind. Ryota walked further into the garden, trying to figure out what he was doing here – he was supposed to be in the Dragon Empire right now, _home_ , right now, wasn't he? Why did his memories seem so fuzzy? He was doing something important, he remembered that much, but he was rapidly forgetting _what_ that something was. Something to do with... with his father, maybe? He shook his head, running one hand through his bangs, looking at the ground to jog his memory.

 

He wasn't particularly comforted by what he saw.

 

Dark brown streaks dragged across the cobblestone at his feet, pooling in some places before continuing off into the fog. More concerning were the splotches on his boots of the same color, as well as his gloves and fingers. Rubbing his fingers together flaked some of it off, but not enough to clean them. _What the hell?_ Ryota looked up and out into the mist, watching as several of the shapes beyond faded farther from view. Narrowing his eyes, he moved forward.

 

The fog became heavier as he walked. Even the blue lights disappeared, and it was at that point that he slowed his pace, feeling the oppressive silence weighing down on him. Part of him wished he had his weapon – he didn't remember what he'd done with it, but it wasn't here, which was strange. Even though the castle was supposed to be safe right now, he didn't feel that way. He wouldn't have left it very far away. He wouldn't have gone anywhere without it.

 

Lost in his thoughts, Ryota didn't notice the obstruction in front of him until he tripped over it. He cursed under his breath as he lurched forward, stumbling a few steps before catching himself. A loud metallic _CLANG_ followed, ringing out into the fog over and over again. The echoes continued for several minutes, becoming more and more distorted the farther out they went, and when he turned to see what he tripped over, he was met with the sight of a partially melted pile of armor. _What?_

 

Something about the remains drew him closer. Kneeling next to them, closer inspection revealed half of an emblem carved into the breastplate – a bird? _No... there's fire... A Phoenix?_

 

_Brom._

 

The style of the armor, the emblem... there was no one else it could be. _But_... What could have happened to do _that_ to him?

 

“Brom?” he asked, “Are you...?” No answer. Nothing – whatever was binding him to his armor was gone. Brom was gone. _Dead_. Where the hell was his naginata? His gaze darted around the garden again, looking for any sign of danger, any sign of what could have killed Brom.

 

The fog began to lift. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end - if there was no more fog, there was no more cover, and if whatever killed Brom was still here... An unwanted thought shoved its way into his mind.

 

_Where are the others?_

 

He almost stopped breathing. The other shapes in the fog he'd seen before – _No. No, no, no, no._ He immediately jumped back to his feet, eyes searching wildly for the rest of his friends. He didn't have very far to look - within moments, the fog around him began to lift, lending more visibility to the surrounding area.

 

_This can't be right,_ he thought, as he hurried to Julian's still form, only a few short meters away. He lay facedown on the ground, shredded robes twisted about his legs like he'd been running from something before collapsing where he was. _What happened? I just saw him, he was completely fine!_ Ryota rolled him over, hoping for any sign that he was okay. Shallow breathing, a slight pulse, a blink, _anything._ Something to show he was still alive.

 

The only reward was the lifeless stare of a dead man. The same brown streaks as those on the ground and on his fingers ran down Julian's chin from his mouth and nose, and from the hideous lacerations going down his throat and shoulders. The tears continued on into the front of his robes as well, revealing more wounds on his chest. The itch in the back of Ryota's mind grew stronger. It was pushing at his memory, trying to shove something to the forefront but for the life of him he couldn't bring it any farther forward – what was he forgetting? Seeing Julian's eyes glazed over and staring into the void did nothing but muddle his thoughts further.

 

Noticing the position of one of Julian's arms, almost like he was reaching out for help before he had died, Ryota felt a ball of ice settle into his stomach. Instinctively he knew the direction Julian had been going would be where the others were. He wasn't sure he wanted to look. But that way was forward, and somewhere deep down, he knew he needed to – to piece together what happened. To find the _thing_ that had killed them.

 

If he could just find Yuki, he decided, then everything would be fine. She'd always been the best at defending herself; there was no possible way she would have shared Brom and Julian's fate. She would explain what happened, and she'd tell him that even though they'd lost _some_ of the party, that they'd still killed the beast. He wouldn't be alone. Right?

 

But Julian had been reaching for something. And following the direction he was pointing, Ryota felt that hope crumble to pieces when he saw the last shadow clearly.

 

A body, bent over backwards, impaled on a spear stuck in the ground. The greatsword under her fingertips gleaming black and crimson left no doubt as to the identity of the victim. But there wasn't – she couldn't have – _how?!_ A gentle breeze blew past him and past Yuki's body, causing him to shiver, and then freezing him down to the core when, from her face, the wind lifted and toyed with a bright red ribbon tied to the shaft of the spear. At that point the fog vanished completely, leaving him unable to do anything but stare at Yuki's corpse. _This can't be right!_

 

Hearing the creaking of leather behind him, he jerked back from the arrow that whistled past his face a split second later. Turning to the direction the attack came from, he blanched at the sight of Tenna, drawing another arrow and pointing it directly at him. The look on her face was one of absolute terror. But she was alive, and that mattered more to him than he ever could have said.

 

He stood, slowly, hands in front of him in an effort to calm her down as he moved closer. She needed help – one of her legs was badly injured, and he was no healer. Blood matted in her hair, her arms were shaking, and she was gasping for breath in a way that seemed like she was on the verge of tears. Of course she wouldn't cry; if he knew her at all he knew she'd never do that in front of anybody else.

 

“Tenna, it's just me,” he said, “It's okay, I'm not-”

 

“Get back!” she shouted, cutting him off, “Don't come any closer!”

 

He paused, confused, “Tenna? I won't hurt you, I-I swear, I...”

 

“Liar!” Another arrow clattered to the ground a few feet to his left, “You _lying_ son of a bitch!”

 

“W-what? I don't... What are you...” he took another step forward. She took one back. Unfortunately it was on her bad leg, causing her face to contort in pain as she fell over backwards. Ryota rushed to her side, but when he went to help her up, she slapped his hand away and scrambled as far back from him as she could, “What happened?” he asked her quietly, “Why...?”

 

“It's not obvious?” she asked incredulously. When he didn't respond she snorted once, repulsed, trying to wipe away the tears before they fell, “They were your friends and you killed them. _You killed them._ And you _enjoyed_ it. You fucking _monster_. _You_ did this, and you acted like it was the best thing you ever did.”

 

That couldn't be right. She had to be mistaken. He wouldn't... he would never....

 

In that instant, the memories came rushing back.

 

_He was standing in front of their graves. All nine, lined up in a neat and tidy row, starting with his mother and ending with his youngest brother. They'd taken almost all night to dig. Almost all night for him to bury them, with only Aer to help, which he hadn't really even wanted but appreciated all the same. He'd gone before Ryota started his vigil, citing a need to be elsewhere – not without saying goodbye - but he'd left anyway. Leaving him to watch over the graves of nine people that no one else would ever even miss. No one else would ever know what happened. He'd stood there the entire night in the rain, silent, alone with naught but his own thoughts. It was the least he could do. He didn't even notice when the others arrived. Or maybe he did, but was past the point of caring._

 

_“Such a troubled boy,” Brom said sadly, “Seeking help from Devils. But everything happens for a reason-”_

 

_Without a moment's hesitation Ryota made a grab for Brom's helmet. His fingers had just barely wrapped around the bottom lip of it when Yuki's hand clapped around his wrist, trying to drag his hand away. The snarl that warped his features went a few steps past feral as his pupils dilated in anticipation of combat._

 

_“Ryota, you need to calm down -” she started to say. He tried to wrench his hand away, but her grip was iron, and he wasn't in the mood to listen. In fact, he felt much the opposite – he'd just lost his family, watched his siblings die,_ let _his siblings die, without doing anything to stop it. What else was he supposed to do? Let Evelynn win? And nobody else cared. What gave them the right to tell him to 'calm down'? To say he was 'troubled'?_

 

_He hated them. He let them in – Spirits, he'd let them in, he_ trusted _them, he wanted so much to think that they were his_ friends. _And they didn't care. They didn't care. Nobody had ever cared. Why would they be any different? The first thing Yuki had asked for after the battle was for a way to go back to the Empire. To leave._

 

_He hated them all. Since getting his arm away from Yuki wasn't working, he shoved his elbow into her gut instead, forcing the air out of her. As soon as she let go of him, he went for Brom again, who at this point was backing away. He didn't make it very far before Ryota's hands had the fastenings of his cloak, pulling him back less than gently._

 

_“I know you're upset but-”_

 

_“Shut up!” Ryota spat, “Don't you dare say that, don't you DARE say they died for some 'higher' purpose, don't you EVER say that!”_

 

_One of Brom's gauntlets went to sit on top of his hand, trying to loosen his grip, “If you would just calm down -”_

 

_“'Calm down'?! I am fucking calm! I'm as calm as I'm gonna get after what happened last night! Or were you not there?!” his grip tightened for the slightest second, until a hand roughly grabbed his shoulder, trying to turn him away. Without even thinking about it he followed it, and letting go of Brom with one hand he threw that fist into Yuki's jaw as hard as he could._

 

_She stumbled back a few steps, holding her face, eyes wide with surprise. He'd never even come close to striking at her before. “Azumi's Sword, Ryota, what the fuck is your deal?!”_

 

_It was as if the floodgates had opened. He began to laugh, letting go of Brom, dragging his hands through his hair, feeling the rush of adrenaline pumping through his veins. They didn't understand. Of course they didn't. The laughter grew in volume until it was almost hysterical, ringing off the stones of the walls, drawing the attention of Julian and Tenna as well. Grinning like a madman he swiveled on his heel, claws extending from his fingers and teeth becoming fangs, grabbing Brom again, who at this point was starting to draw his weapon._

 

_He didn't have a chance to do anything with it. Holding onto Brom with both hands firmly locked into his cloak, Ryota opened his mouth and screamed, releasing a stream of dragon's fire directly into his face-plate, not even feeling the punches as his target tried to get away from him._

 

_“RYOTA!” Yuki shrieked. He barely heard her over the roar of the flames. He did everything in his power to intensify the fire, watching with glee as Brom's helm began to glow cherry red, eventually beginning to melt and caving in on itself. He let the fire keep coming until he was certain it had done its purpose, and when he felt he needed to breathe again, he cast Brom's body aside, giggling as it hit the ground with a loud 'thud'._

 

_The hiss of a sword being drawn caught his attention. Still smiling, he looked over his shoulder, tilting his head to the side as Yuki took a more combative stance. “What?” he asked her, “Didn't you want to know what my 'deal' was?” She stared at him, narrowing her eyes. Julian moved as if to come closer, but she shook her head 'no' to stop him. Ryota just sighed and looked between the two._

 

_“I don't want to hurt you, Ryota, but what you just did-” Yuki started._

 

_“You really think you can_ hurt me?!” _he interrupted, “You honestly think you can do anything more to me that hasn't been done already?! My family is_ dead _, Yuki! Everyone I ever cared about is gone! I didn't even get to say goodbye! I had to fucking_ watch _while Evelynn blew their goddamned heads off and you have the_ gall _to think you can do anything_ worse?! _”_

 

_Yuki swung her sword, with the flat part of the blade facing him in an all-too-obvious effort not to kill him, but to throw him off balance. “Do we not mean anything to you?!” she shouted as he moved out of the way, “What about us?!”_

 

_“What_ about _you?” was his cold reply. In an instant his naginata was in his hands, and as her sword came at him again, this time with the cutting edge, he met her head on. His smile was wild as their weapons slammed into each other, the shaft of his staff turning her blade with ease. He stepped around her, waiting for her to swing again. If she really wanted to fight him, that was fine. It just proved she was his enemy, nothing more. How could he have ever thought of her as his sister? Stupid._

 

_“You aren't the only one to lose someone!” She said, “I lost my parents, too -”_

 

_“Did you have to watch it happen? Did you hear them screaming for help while they died? No? Then don't fucking act like this is the same thing!”_

 

_Frustrated, she swung again, and would have hit if he didn't throw himself backwards to avoid the momentum, “It's not a pissing contest, Ryota! I know it hurts, but you need to suck it up and deal with it without taking it out on everyone else!” As she pulled her sword back to step into her next blow, he made a few swings of his own. She managed to parry the first two, but his speed was greater than hers; he'd always been faster than her._

 

_The third attack was on a clean path toward her chest – it was going to hit, it should have hit, it_ would _have hit if not for Julian's interference. Magical vines sprang from the dirt, wrapping up and around his legs and torso, stopping him short. That didn't stop him trying to force the swing anyway._

 

_“That's enough, Ryota,” Julian said, voice raised to be heard from his place farther away, “You're not thinking clearly. Take a moment to breathe.” Even though his words were meant to be calming, Ryota's response was the snarling of a caged beast. “I know you didn't like Brom that much, but going that far is unacceptable – and if you keep this up you're going to end up doing more damage to yourself than you will to us.”_

 

_Ryota let go of his weapon. His eyes didn't lose the feral gleam, however, which Yuki took very clear notice of, snatching his staff from the roiling vines. With all her strength she stabbed it into the ground, butt first, so if he tried to get it again he'd risk cutting himself open. “There. Are you ready to talk now?” she asked._

 

_He didn't respond. He just pulled at the vines again, eyes locked onto Julian._

 

_“This is what Evelynn wants,” Yuki said, “To tear us apart. Thanks to you we're one man short for the real fight, but maybe if you can cool off we can still take her down.”_

 

_“Are you kidding?” Tenna piped up, “Uh-uh. He just melted Brom's_ face. _You don't just trust someone who melted your friend's face! He's dangerous, there's no way we should keep traveling with him. We should just leave him here!”_

 

_His eyes flicked to her for the barest second, but it was enough to get her to shrink away. The vines continued moving all about him, until he felt just the slightest lack of resistance to his own movement. It was just enough that he somehow managed to pull free, running straight for Julian – he shouldn't have interfered. Julian had to have realized that because his eyes went wide and he immediately tried to cast another spell._

 

_Whatever it was, it fizzled in his hands, and by that time Ryota was on him, claws extended and thirsty for blood. They struck true, one hand digging into Julian's shoulder while the other raked down his chest as he tried to step back. He shouted from the pain, louder when Tenna reached over and yanked him out of Ryota's grasp. “Do you really want to do this?” Julian asked, “Do you really want to push us all away? To try to kill us all?”_

 

_Ryota growled. He stepped between Julian and Tenna, blocking her from doing anything to stop him again as he went to strike at Julian once more. This time the claws of his left hand swiped across Julian's neck. Not as deeply as he would have liked, but that would at least stop his infuriating talking for awhile._

 

_Julian went to touch the wound, and if there had been any doubt about Ryota's conviction to his actions before, it had to have vanished by then. His expression went from bewildered, to pity, and then to a firm resolution. 'Fine', his face seemed to say, 'have it your way'. He turned away and tried to flee, to get closer to Yuki._

 

_Like he could really get away. Trying to run only encouraged Ryota to give chase. And give chase he did, quickly ending it by tackling the other man to the ground. Pressing a knee into his back, he grabbed a fistful of Julian's hair and yanked his head up before slamming it back into the stone pathway, and then again, and was about to do it a third time when an arrow sank into the back of his shoulder. Strangely, he barely felt it. It was there, rubbing against his shoulder-blade, but somehow he didn't exactly register it as anything more than mildly uncomfortable. Really, it only made him more angry. He was tired of the interruptions._

 

_Scowling, he lifted Julian's face from the floor, pleased to see the blood pouring out of his nose, and dragged his claws roughly across his throat, deep enough to reach the carotid artery. This time he was certain the sorcerer wouldn't be getting back up._

 

_Another arrow found its mark, this time in his side. He yelled, fury dominating his voice as he stood, glaring at Tenna, then taking several steps toward her. She backed away from him, realizing that maybe antagonizing him further wasn't exactly the smartest thing she could have done, why did she do that, what was she thinking, why didn't she just leave?!_

 

_Ryota pulled the arrow out of his side. As soon as it came out, he broke it in half, discarding it onto the ground. She continued to back away. His pace increased. Glowering, he reached for the one in his back – although pulling this one out was much harder given the angle and where it was, but he managed, holding eye contact with Tenna the entire time. She drew another, but this one she hesitated to shoot. Shame. He closed the gap between them with a sudden burst of speed, and dodging to one side of her bow he stabbed the arrow he was holding into her leg. Tenna shrieked as it went in._

 

_Her cry was cut short as he lifted her off the ground by the front of her tunic. She kicked at him with her good leg, connecting her boot to the wound in his side, causing him to yowl from the pain. At that point his only thought was to get her away. As hard as he could, Ryota turned and threw Tenna into and through the miserable excuse of a headstone marking his youngest brother's grave. He heard her groan softly after she hit the ground several feet away, but she stayed where she was, too dazed to move._

 

_Before the dust had finished settling, Yuki decided to remind him of her presence. She'd finally caught up to him, swinging her sword in a vicious arc, and probably would have taken his arm off if she hadn't announced herself by shouting something about honor on her way over. Typical Yuki._

 

_Instead her blade cut through empty air as he jumped out of the way to avoid it. Her face was just as angry as his. Her next attack came in as an overhead strike, but rather than run from this one, Ryota slid in underneath it, grabbing her forearms to stall the swing. But where his speed outmatched hers, she was still stronger, and he found himself almost buckling under her power. He strained against her arms as she tried to bring the sword down. Since his claws weren't doing much to deter her through her armor, he kneed her in the stomach, once more forcing the breath from her lungs, and making her take a step back. It was enough space for him to follow it with his boot - taking a page from Tenna's book - throwing her back even farther._

 

_It didn't matter that Yuki's defenses were the best of their group. He went on the offensive anyway, attacking wildly, swinging his claws as close to her as he could get without losing his fingers to her sword as she parried and blocked. More often than not she tried to throw him off balance by using the flat of her weapon to redirect the entirety of his momentum away from her so she could counterattack. Frustrated, he began to realize that he wasn't going to have a chance against her without his own weapon. While the claws were more personal, his naginata would be far more effective. And that was behind_ her _._

 

_He stepped back. She didn't follow this time. After taking a deep breath her expression had changed from anger at his actions to complete composure, much like the illustrations of Azumi in the books he'd read as a child. Her face was a mask, calm, collected, undauntable. As far as she was concerned, he thought, he was just another worthless opponent who needed to be put down._

 

_And somehow that was unbearable._

 

_Sparks flew from his mouth as he unleashed another burst of dragon's fire in her direction, but Yuki wasn't about to be deterred. Bringing her sword up to shield her body from the worst of the flames, a look of surprise flitted across her face when, despite her weight, she was forced backwards several inches. She had to dig her feet into the ground to re-gain her footing, and when the last of the fire died away she charged, swinging her greatsword toward his chest while he was still catching his breath. He had to throw himself back on his heels just to make sure the slash wasn't going to cut him in half. It wasn't enough to get completely clear, but it was enough to save his life. The edge of Yuki's blade dug deeply into his chest, exiting above his left shoulder and spraying blood out across the stones below them. Using his lack of balance she came again, chopping viciously into his side where Tenna's arrow had been not very long before, opening and causing even more blood to gush from the now gaping wound. The force of her swing dragged him along this time, depositing him on the ground almost behind her on his knees._

 

_Of course, Ryota was nothing if not stubborn. Yuki was prepared to end it, to bring her sword down through his neck and execute him like the honor-less shame to their family that he was, but just as her sword was about to come down, he dove to her left, rolling to his feet. He scowled as he attacked one more time, feeling the exhaustion beginning to claim him, but he managed to successfully drive his claws into her underarm. Just to make sure he wasn't going to be letting go until he was ready, he pushed them in even more, listening to Yuki whimper as she tried not to scream. Her arm seized up, forcing her to let go of her weapon with that hand, causing him to smile once more. She was good, but even she couldn't use her greatsword one-handed._

 

_That didn't stop her from trying. It wasn't very effective though, and he easily kept her from bringing it too close. With the added leverage of having his claws in her, in the joint which made it possible for her to move her arm, he walked her back a few more feet, bumping past his spear, still stuck in the ground, albeit now at an angle which faced Yuki. It didn't stay that way for very long. He used his free hand to point the blade back toward him, and then stepping backwards with Yuki, he positioned them so that the tip of it just barely touched her back._

 

_She had to feel it there, struggling to get out of his grip, but ultimately failed to escape. Knowing what was coming, she looked him in the eyes as defiantly as she could, and spat in his face. “Our father would have been ashamed to have ever called you his son,” she said, almost too calmly, closing her eyes._

 

_Ryota just kept smiling, ripping his claws out of her, and shoved her violently back into the blade, impaling her through the heart. As her breath left her, her sword slipped from her fingers, hitting the ground with a ringing eerily reminiscent of the Dragon Temple's bell. He leaned over, bringing his face so close to hers he could_ feel _the warmth leaving her body, and still with the grin on his face, he spoke,_

 

_“It's funny to me that you think I ever cared.”_

 

“That you think...” the soft sound of his voice drew him out of the torrent. He twitched, shaking his head, looking down at his hands. He was going to vomit. The images kept replaying over and over again, tying his stomach into tighter and tighter knots. Luckily, or perhaps not, Tenna had already moved several feet away before he emptied his breakfast onto the ground – _Spirits_ how could he _ever_ face her again?! After doing that, after just – just _murdering_ them like that, how could he ever...Yuki should have just killed him when she had the chance, the second he'd grabbed Brom, what had she been thinking, why didn't she?

 

His lungs didn't seem to want to let any air into his body. His eyes burned, he could still feel their blood on his hands – a warm, sticky wetness just dripping between his fingers, smelling of iron. He threw up again.

 

_“Do we not mean anything to you?!”_

 

_“It's not a pissing contest, Ryota! I know it hurts, but you need to suck it up and deal with it without taking it out on everyone else!”_ He bit down on his lip, tightly shutting his eyes in a useless attempt to block the memories out. For a moment he just sat there, fighting back tears, fighting back the urge to run, to flee, to hide. The pressure on his lip increased as he tried harder and harder with no success, until the bitter taste of blood entered his mouth, mixing in all the worst ways with the remnants of the stomach acid from seconds before.

 

The world flickered, everything going dark for a moment which passed so quickly he almost thought he'd imagined it. Tenna was pulling herself to her feet, still trying to get away from him, unwilling to say anything, or offer any sort of comfort – and why would she? After what he'd done. Still, the tiny grunt she gave as she hauled herself up using one of the headstones was enough to alert him to her movement. He looked up at her, opening his mouth like he wanted to speak to her, but he couldn't force the words to come.

 

As if she knew he was looking, she turned her head to face him. He wilted under her gaze, unable to handle what he saw in her eyes.

 

Dejection. Fear. _Contempt._

 

Just the thought of her hating him made his chest ache. He tried again to speak, voice nonexistent until on the third attempt he managed a hoarse whisper. “I'm sorry,” he said, “I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I-I-”

 

“Don't,” Tenna snarled, “Fucking- Just _don't._ Don't you _dare_.” Everything flickered again. She was standing in front of him now, an arrow drawn and nocked in her bow and pointing directly at his forehead. Ryota wasn't really sure how she'd gotten there so quickly, but it didn't matter. She was going to shoot him. He deserved it. Right? _Why is she hesitating?_ He was completely prepared just to let it happen.

 

Or at least he thought so.

 

The strangest feeling suddenly came over him then; one that he couldn't begin to describe accurately, even if he ever wanted to. It was like everything that made him _him,_ everything that made up who he was, if not necessarily _what_ he was, pulled back from whatever attachments to his body he might have had to it. It was like being shunted into the back of his own mind, going completely numb to his own nerve endings, helpless to do anything but see, hear, and think. He could still move, but he had absolutely no control over what he was doing – like seeing through someone else's eyes, even though they were still _his_ eyes, but someone or some _thing_ else was in control of his movement.

 

It was the only way he could rationalize his body standing of its own accord. He towered over her, staring her down, lips raising in a smirk as her eyes widened and she tried to step back from him again. Ryota watched in a state of panic as his hand shot out to wrap around her throat, lifting her into the air in front of him at arm's length. _No!_ He shouted at himself, _No no no! Don't do this, don't do this, don't do this!_ Tenna's hands came up to frantically try to pry his fingers away. She wasn't nearly strong enough to break his grip.

 

He saw the magic in his blood rising to the surface of his skin, dying his forearm and hand a deep crimson. He saw a new layer of skin growing over the old, hardening, splitting into the metallic scales that denoted his draconic heritage. What he couldn't see was the arrival of his claws, but it wasn't hard to imagine they were there when her blood began to well over the sides of his fingers, staining them further. _Stop stop stop stop!_ She was still trying to make him let go. Spirits, he wished he could let go. He squeezed her neck tighter, seeing her eyes close, seeing her gasping for air. Her efforts to break free were growing weaker.

 

He tried to force his way to the forefront of his mind. To regain control before it was too late. He had to stop himself, he couldn't let himself kill her. Not Tenna. Not Tenna. _Not Tenna_. It was like slamming into a wall, pounding his fist into it over and over again but no matter how hard he tried Ryota couldn't break through. Tenna's face was turning blue. _Please don't... please... please... STOP!_

 

Her hands fell to her sides, completely limp.

 

Another moment passed with his hand unwilling to release its hold on her. He waited.

 

And waited.

 

“NO!!!” the scream tore out of his lips as he _snapped_ back into control of himself. Immediately he let her go, but it was too late – she crumpled to the ground, but did not breathe. Even if she tried to, she would have drowned on her own blood from the holes his claws had put in her neck.

 

Horrified, he stepped back from her body. Shadows began to creep along the edges of his field of vision, crawling closer to the two of them, hiding the rest of the world. Within moments he was standing in a black void, Tenna's body still lying in front of him, the only thing he could see. Her body grew pale, creating an even more stark contrast to her bright red hair which fanned the ground in its own whorl of flame.

 

“I'm sorry...” Ryota rasped. He could barely breathe. He didn't want to breathe. _She was the only one who stayed. The only one to ask if... if I was okay. What the hell is wrong with me?! How could I do this to her?_

 

He tore his eyes away from her, looking down at his boots. He closed his eyes, shaking his head in a desperate attempt to dislodge the sight from his thoughts. Instead, he saw her standing in front of him, blood leaking from her neck and from her lips, reaching out to take his hand in hers, smiling at him, saying 'it's okay' even though he _knew_ it wasn't. He blinked. She vanished, nothing but the slightest pulse in his hand to give any sign that she'd ever been there to begin with.

 

He hunched over, tangling his hands firmly into his hair. Somebody was crying; pain-wracked sobs echoed into the abyss in response to Tenna's passing. He didn't realize it was him until he tasted the salt on his lips. Some part of him was telling him to stop it, to get hold of himself, but between the tears flowing freely down his face and the inability to breathe properly, the likelihood of that happening was extremely low. He could feel his heart thudding in his chest, fast, faster, too fast. Strangely, his pulse didn't match the one which came from his hand. Confused, or maybe just trying to focus on _anything_ else, Ryota found himself looking down at his fingers, trying to find the source, turning his hands over when nothing obvious appeared. It was definitely from the right, he could feel that much. And then he saw it – a band of black and orange phasing into view around his ring finger.

 

_“As much as I know I should probably be doing this in front of your father and should probably be asking his blessing first, I wanted to ask you, while we're alone and I probably won't screw it up, but... Will you marry me?”_

 

He froze.

 

_“I had the rings enchanted after I finished them. There wasn't a way to keep it one-way, so hopefully you don't mind, but as long as we're both wearing them, we'll be able to feel each other's heartbeats. This is as close to physically handing you my heart as I can get, because it belongs to you, entirely.”_

 

He remembered the smile on her face when he'd asked her. He remembered the absolute elation he'd felt when she said yes. That was almost two weeks ago, on the mountainside overlooking the capital city of... _Of the Empire._

 

Those memories warred against those of the murders of his friends. He clearly remembered having killed them all – he'd done it just moments ago – but he also remembered the feeling of Tenna's warmth, her scent, her touch, her lips pressed against his that night. That never could have happened if he'd truly betrayed the group.

 

Tenna's pulse was growing in speed. Something was wrong. He could feel it, as well as a vicious pull to be with her, to find out what was wrong and do whatever was in his power to help fix it.

 

_“Fine, if you really want to do it then do it, but if you die out there I'll find you in Hell and smack your bitch-ass face.”_

 

_'Do'..._ Something clicked. _The Dragon Challenges. This isn't real. None of this is real. This... this is the fear test! She's not dead. She's not dead! Neither is Julian – I saw him before the tests started, he was sitting next to Tenna's father!_

 

The shadows leapt back from him, revealing him standing in front of the exit to the maze. Two steps was all it would take to finish it. The crowd was eerily quiet. A heavy silence hung over the stands, breaking into a cacophony of noise when he stepped forward, out of the rushing flames. Ryota looked up to see the sorcerer who'd cast the fear spell talking furiously with another man – the announcer – and Kenshin, surprisingly. From his erratic hand-waving and emphasized gestures, Ryota's first instinct told him to be worried.

 

Overriding that, however, was the need to find Tenna. Absently he twisted his ring around his finger; he needed to be sure she was actually okay – logically he wanted to think he knew she was, but the sight of her dead on the ground left him uneasy and doubtful of that fact. It felt so real. He did manage to locate Julian after a moment, still sitting where he had been earlier, but he was too far away for Ryota to read his expression. He had his hands folded together near his face though; it was something he typically did when he was troubled. _What happened?_

 

Tenna he couldn't find. But he could still feel her, which made him feel at least a little better. Her heartbeat was slowing down almost in time with his. _Oh... She would have felt mine too. Shit._

 

“It has been decided!” the voice of the announcer brought Ryota back to focus. “With careful consideration in regards to the extraneous circumstances involved, the contestant has passed the first test! Begin the next challenge!”

 

_'Extraneous circumstances?' What?_ He frowned, even as the people in the stands shouted their approval. The noise rose exponentially as he turned to face the gate opposite of where he stood – back toward where he'd first entered the arena. The floor moved itself back into place, killing the lights of the fire jets from below. _Right, that was just the first one._ He inhaled to try to calm down. _Have to focus. I can do this._

 

The audience quieted down as the iron grating rose to admit the man who would administer the second test. Cloaked in white furs and wearing enough layers to fight off even the chill of the Frigid Waste, he strode into the arena leaning heavily on a staff made of what looked like white wood, but shimmered shades of blue and violet in the light of the sun. His face was mostly hidden by the hood of his cloak, but the gray beard falling midway down his chest spoke of years far beyond Ryota's own.

 

At his side padded a massive white bear. Like the staff, in the right lighting it also had the faint blue and violet color rippling through its fur, and if Ryota focused his vision he realized he could actually see through it, although with some difficulty from this far away.

 

Ryota tensed, watching the old man, Kyveryn, as he'd introduced himself before, cross the arena floor, stopping halfway between him and the gate. The bear sat silently next to him.

 

“Would you like a moment to breathe, child?” he said softly, a small smile appearing on his lips. Ryota shook his head. He knew better than to underestimate him, but he couldn't stop himself from wondering what the hell kind of test was coming next. Kyveryn moved his staff to his other hand, patting the bear's side. “Very well. Will you accept the second of the Spirits' Challenges?”

 

“Y-yes,” came the immediate response. Ryota fought the urge to wince; that didn't sound nearly as confident as he'd hoped. The last thing he needed to do was make it obvious just how shaken he really was.

 

Kyveryn nodded, lifting his head. He smiled again, as if to say 'good luck', and reaching into his sleeve he produced a band of Dragonsteel, decorated with an effigy of a dragon in flight, holding a red star-gem in its tail – Ryota's armband. Ryota's eyes narrowed. _Why does he have that?_

 

The shaman began to cast, stepping back, reaching out one hand to touch the bear. Where he touched it, the bear's fur rippled, lending power to Kyveryn's spell as a black mist began to surround the armband, growing in volume by the second. Like storm-clouds, occasionally the miasma lit up as if a bolt of lightning had just passed through, although the clouds became an angry orange instead of white.

 

Ryota just watched, unsure of what he was seeing as Kyveryn continued to back away. The mist congealed, settling into a humanoid shape, becoming much more solid and changing in color as it did. A pair of large crimson wings sprouted from what was supposed to be its back, eyes of molten gold drilled into him, and as the shape and colors settled Ryota found himself staring at an otherwise perfect mirror of himself – although his doppelganger's stance was much more commanding, and its expression was something far beyond that of simple pleasure. A small plume of flame puffed past its lips as it grinned with a mouth full of fangs in his direction.

 

Ryota tensed as it came closer, raising its arms over its head and stretching its muscles. He could have sworn he heard its joints popping in the near, now curious, silence of the arena. Its wings extended to their full, thirty-foot span and flapped once before returning to the resting position, while its hands carelessly fell back to its sides as it smiled even wider.

 

**“What? Feels good to stretch,”** it said, animosity dripping like venom into its voice, **“after being cooped up in a piece of jewelry for a** _ **week.**_ **”** Ryota's eyes flicked back toward Kyveryn as if to ask what this was all about, but the older man and his spirit companion were already walking out the coliseum gates. The opportunity lost, he decided to take the time to study his 'twin' instead. Now that he was on the receiving end, he realized exactly why it was that people were intimidated by his presence – its eyes alone were enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand at attention. Every fiber of his being was telling him to put as much distance between himself and it as possible. Not that he listened.

 

It looked him up and down, obviously sizing him up as well. Whatever it saw, clearly it wasn't impressed, as it scoffed and instead decided to study its own fingers, flexing its claws with a bored expression on its face.“What... are you?” Ryota asked. He eyed it warily as it tested the sharpness of its claws against its own arm, dragging across its scales. The slightest _screech_ came away following them, though they left no marks behind.

 

It raised a brow. **“Well if that isn't the stupidest question you've ever fucking asked. Why not take a wild guess?”** Ryota frowned, but did not respond. It rolled its eyes. **“Really? Nothing? You honestly have** _ **no**_ **idea? Fucking idiot.”** When Ryota still failed to say anything, it threw its hands in the air in frustration, before glaring and beginning to circle him like a dragon would its prey. **“Come on, just one little guess! It's really not that difficult.”**

 

Turning in place he made it a point to keep his twin within his vision. **“Look, I'll even give you a hint. You know anyone else who looks like this or are you just pretending to be clueless?”** it deadpanned, stopping and crossing its arms, looking more disappointed than anything else.

 

“So... what, are you supposed to be me?” Ryota questioned.

 

That brought the sadistic smile back to its face, **“Maybe you're not completely stupid after all. Not quite right, but you're close.”** Ryota barely had time to blink before it had the front of his shirt balled into its fist, yanking him off his feet. His eyes went wide as, one-handed, it lifted him more than a few inches off the ground – not the easiest thing to do to someone who weighed as much as he did. **“Honestly? More like** _ **you're**_ **supposed to be** _ **me**_ **.** _ **I'm**_ **the better one of us, after all.** _ **I'm**_ **stronger than you.** _ **I'm**_ **not afraid to get my hands dirty. You** _ **could**_ **be me if you'd get over yourself and just get something** _ **done**_ **once in a while.”** With a disgusted growl it threw him away. He landed hard on his back, wincing as he scrambled back to his feet. **“What are you so** _ **afraid**_ **of?** _ **Nothing can touch you.**_ **You could have** _ **anything**_ **you want, and to Hell with anyone who gets in your way!”**

 

“I'm not a tyrant,” Ryota growled, “I-”

 

**“A tyrant?”** it gave a dry laugh, **“Please. What does anyone else even matter? Not that you're good enough to take what's yours, anyway. You're pathetic. Always letting people walk all over you, when they should be cowering at your feet. You've let an entire country put a fucking collar around your neck.”**

 

_“_ The hell are you talking about?”

 

**“You know** _ **damn**_ _ **well**_ **what I'm talking about!”** it shouted. The fury reclaimed its voice as it lunged forward, moving faster than Ryota was expecting. Instinct alone saved him, or maybe it was luck this time – he threw himself into a forward roll just under its arm, barely avoiding its claws going straight into his throat. He felt them brush against the back of his neck as he pitched forward, felt them catch on something and tear, but it wasn't his neck and for that he was grateful.

 

Although when he came up from the roll his head felt strangely lighter. _Focus!_ **“You just want so much to be acknowledged you'll do anything anyone asks of you. Your older siblings used and berated you constantly, and you never fought back. No matter how much they dragged you through the dirt, you just let it happen, never once making them stop.”** With speed that matched his exactly, it swiveled on its heel, coming back to try again. Ryota brought his arms up to protect himself, thinking that he'd be able to block it without any trouble; it was more than just rumor that normal men could hardly hurt him, after all. Swung with enough force, regular steel weapons had just as much a chance of shattering from colliding with him as not, so theoretically, the doppelganger's claws _should_ just scrape along without doing any actual damage. At least to the parts of him that benefited most from his own natural 'armor', such that it was.

 

To Ryota's surprise, however, they tore across and into both forearms going on their way. His eyes widened in shock as he stepped back. Dumbly he looked at his arm past the remnants of his sleeve, noting that, _yes_ , he was definitely bleeding, and those looked like more than just minor scratches. _Great, more scars for the collection, goddamnit. How..._

 

He scowled, and shoved the confusion to the back of his mind. He needed to be calm right now. Or at least, he needed to seem that way, until he figured this out. “So I'm weak for not escalating the problem? I fail to see your point,” he said as he ripped the rest of his sleeves away, deciding that they weren't really doing much to be helpful anyway. Shredded as they were, it actually would have been more dangerous just to leave them alone. Fabric getting stuck in cuts the could cause an infection; better not to risk it.

 

**“It's not like your whore of a mother actually did anything about it either,”** it grumbled, **“No, she just ignored it. Ignored you once you turned five to jump in bed with whatever stranger she wanted, unless Big Brother Koichi told her you fucked up, and then of course she punished you regardless of if it was true or not.”**

 

Ryota bristled. “Don't talk about her like that!” _Even if it is the truth._ He tightened his fists, still watching the doppelganger's movements, waiting for it to come at him again. He knew it would – if it was claiming to be him, then it was only a matter of time before it did.

 

**“It's** _ **her**_ **fault you're like this, you know,”** it continued, as if it hadn't heard him, **“What was it she always used to say? 'Our place is to serve'?”** its head tilted to the side, calculating. It adjusted the placement of its feet, mirroring his stance, a mocking smile flitting across its face. **“Serve how, I wonder? Pretty obvious for her, but you?”**

 

“Don't you dare.”

 

**“You didn't exactly have any interest in following** _**her** _ **footsteps. I remember, after that drunk, idiot guard tried to kill her,** _**after you saved her life,** _ **she still didn't want you going to the Dragon Temples to learn how to fight.** **Funny, considering what she named you and why. Not that you were really ever healthy enough to join the military for real, anyway – no, you just snuck out and lied to her for** _**years** _ **to watch and try to learn by yourself.**

 

**“Y'know what I think about it?”** it started to laugh. Ryota clenched his jaw and glared, choosing not to indulge it. _I'm pretty sure the point of this isn't to kick this thing's ass, so what exactly are they testing here?_ **“I think it was just a lie. I think she wanted to keep you from being a threat to anybody. She wanted you to be easy to control so you'd never think you were worth something** _ **more**_ **, but she had to make it so you wouldn't break when everybody else treated you like shit** _ **.**_

 

**“She wanted you never to question your superiors. Wanted to make sure you always felt worthless, like your thoughts and feelings and opinions didn't fucking matter, and it** _**worked.** _ **And when you did finally start thinking about yourself? You felt like a hypocrite, because you believed it, and your behavior was just so damn wrong because of everything that bitch ever taught you.”**

 

Ryota punched it, right in its stupid grinning face.

 

“Say whatever you want about me,” he hissed, “But under no circumstances will I let you _dishonor my mother._ ”

 

Surprisingly, it was silent for a moment, as if unable to process what just happened. Its gaze flicked back to him, and then its grin grew wider, in a twisted display of aggression Ryota wasn't used to seeing on his own face. It ran the back of its hand across its jaw. **“Oh,** _ **now**_ **you grow a spine. Ha, that almost hurt.”** It twisted its head back to look him square in the eye. **“Of course, it wasn't** _ **me**_ **that dishonored her, oh no.”** It threw a punch of its own toward Ryota, who, expecting it to come, nimbly used his own arm to redirect it, and stepped in the opposite direction. The doppelganger growled, buffeting Ryota with its wing, and while he was momentarily distracted it roughly grabbed his wrist. **“** _ **I'm**_ **not the one who deserted her just because daddy asked me to!”** it snarled, twisting his arm and twirling behind him, locking his arm against his back. **“Your father never gave a** _ **damn**_ **about you, but when he asked, you up and left your family to, what was it again? 'Protect Yuki'? What was he actually expecting you to do? She's four years older, had far more training, and honestly? She never even needed you!”**

 

Ryota bit his lip to keep from yelling as it pushed his arm upward. **“Not like they did.”** He heard the sparks escape from its mouth as it used its free hand to yank his head back by the scalp. Instead of trying to fight the movement, Ryota accelerated it. The back of his head slammed into the doppelganger's nose, stunning it just long enough for him to twist out of its loosened grip. Lashing out with one foot he kicked its leg out from underneath it, and tried to flip it onto the ground. The advantage was short-lived, unfortunately, as it used its wings to spring itself back onto its feet and turn to face him once more. Their eyes met, and the absolute hatred Ryota saw in them almost made him dismiss the fear he felt from the last test to be minor at best.

 

It let loose a stream of fire into the ground, heating the stones until they glowed the same color as Brom's armor once did – _didn't. I didn't actually kill him._ **“You're not the man your Empire** **thinks you are,”** it said, raising its voice, **“They think you're some sort of invincible** _ **guardian.**_ **How many strangers' lives have you saved in the last three years alone?”** It flew straight for him, yelling as it swiped a hand across where his head would have been if hadn't jumped out of the way at the last moment.

 

**“And yet, what kind of protector just sits back and** _**watches** _ **when someone outright** _**murders** _ **the people closest to them? You were given every chance to save them! She told you;** _**just don't get in the way.** _ **It was that fucking simple!”**

 

Ryota ducked again as two more strikes came toward his face. **“You** _ **wanted**_ **her to kill them.”** The statement hit him hard, unexpected. **“You practically invited her to do it!”**

 

“That's not true.”

 

**“You gave them to her!”**

 

“That's not true!” he hissed through clenched teeth.

 

**“And the funniest thing is, after everything was said and done some part of you was glad you'd never see them again. After everything they did to you, you were happy to see them suffer. You were** _**happy** _ **they died.”**

 

“LIAR!” Ryota shouted back, “There was no time! If we didn't stop her, she would have killed who knows how many people-”

 

**“That doesn't change the fact that you were relieved they were dead. That doesn't change the fact that even the smallest part of you was glad to know that you wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. You threw away your family for people you'll never even know,”** it sneered. Ryota almost didn't make it out of the way in time to avoid it slamming into him with its full weight. Their shoulders collided, and the doppelganger's claws dug into his chest as it dragged him down to the coliseum floor. He grunted as his back hit the ground, trying to force it off, twisting underneath it to keep it from pinning him entirely. If he could get back to his feet...

 

**“It almost makes me wonder why it was so damn surprising when Yuki distanced herself from you.”**

 

He froze, causing it to give another unpleasant smile. **“What? Let me guess; it still hurts knowing that after all you did for her, all your sacrifices to help her, in your hour of need she repaid that by either ignoring you or trying to make you talk when it was convenient for** _ **her.**_ **”** It flexed its wings once, moving its hand from his chest to his throat. It didn't squeeze, but feeling its claws coming into contact with his neck only brought the image of Tenna back to mind, jumpstarting him into struggling again. It was much harder this time, however, given that in the time he'd been still it had already settled itself over him, pressing one knee into his abdomen to keep him down.

 

**“It only got worse after she got that ring; after that, after the first time she was able to control you, to** _ **force you**_ **into obedience, you were actually stupid enough to think you had to protect yourself from her – it should have been the other way around. You should have put her in her place,”** it said icily, leaning over him. Its face was so close Ryota could smell the brimstone on its breath.

 

“How?” Ryota said, turning his head to the side, “By betraying my sister?”

 

It began to laugh, as if it that were the funniest thing it ever heard. It even let go of him, going as far as holding its sides as it doubled over in a show of near helpless mirth. **“As if she was ever your sister by anything more than blood. Look around you, Ryota** _ **Meiyoken**_ **– for someone who promised her so many times he'd never try to take the throne, you're doing a** _ **wonderful**_ **job at keeping your word. She was right not to trust you.”**

 

“I didn't have a choice -”

 

He was cut off by its fist colliding with his jaw. **“There was always a choice! You never wanted to be here! You'd rather be anywhere** _ **but**_ **here! You could have walked away!** _ **Yuki**_ **did.”**

 

Ryota shook himself out of the daze the punch left him in. He was quickly tiring of this _thing_ and the garbage pouring out of its mouth, regardless of how close to the truth it was. Scowling, he tried again to throw the doppelganger off, and barely succeeded due to the fact that it wasn't using its hands to hold him down any more. Ryota rolled several feet away before climbing back to his feet, trying to keep some distance between them. It stood slowly, glowering at him and exhaling smoke. For the first time since this challenge began Ryota became acutely aware of the hushed atmosphere of the arena, and only then did he realize exactly what it just said.

 

“W-what...?” he stammered.

 

**“'W-what?'”** it repeated, **“What do you mean 'what'? You were there when she decided to leave. When she abandoned the empire.”** It motioned to the stands. **“When she abandoned her people.”** It focused its eyes directly on him, once again staring him down. **“When she abandoned** _ **you**_ **.”**

 

No shouts went up from the stands, no murmurs broke out. Not even an errant whisper found its way into the air. Ryota felt cold seeping into his chest as it continued. **“Three years later and it still fucking** _ **agonizes**_ **you that the only family you have left wants nothing else to do with you. All this time and you still haven't managed to get over that one. Exactly when were you planning to make that public, by the way?”**

 

It paced, as if waiting for him to answer. Apparently this wasn't a rhetorical question. Past the doppelganger, in the closest sections of the stands Ryota was beginning to see the confused faces of the onlookers leaning close to each other. A slight buzz began to rise into the area. With it came a heavy, suffocating pressure, and if he listened closely he could almost hear shocked snippets of convseration.

 

**“Well?”**

 

Ryota bit his lip, swallowing tensely. “I... I wasn't,” he admitted, “It wasn't my place.”

 

Instead of saying anything, the doppelganger looked around at the people in the audience, smirking to itself as the volume of their words increased.

 

“She wouldn't do that!”

 

“What does he mean?”

 

“But the prophecy...”

 

“That has to be a lie!”

 

Anything he said, Ryota knew, the doppelganger would twist into something that only proved its point – but he had to say something. He found himself looking at the ground as the outcry washed over him, trying again to think of how he was supposed to pass this test. Part of him was beginning to doubt it was a test at all. The shouting in the stands threatened to drown him as he hesitated, until finally he had no choice but to act, before things turned messy.

 

Tightening his hands into fists, Ryota closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Yes, I decided not to say anything about Yuki's choice,” he said, loud and clear, raising his voice to be heard over the din of the crowd. Immediately it began to quiet down. “And yes, three years ago, when she chose to leave, I... didn't take it very well. You're right.” He nodded slowly. The doppelganger's eyes narrowed suspiciously. “It hurt. It still does.”

 

Somehow saying that outloud felt like he was beginning to undo a wire that had been so tightly wound around him he could hardly move or breathe without it slicing into him. “But it was my own fault,” he continued, raising his eyes to meet its gaze. “There was a lot I was angry about. Yes, I was angry with her when she wasn't there for me in the beginning, and it festered until when she did reach out, I shoved her away.” He remembered his birthday the week following their 'victory', such that it was, and the little wooden carving she'd made for him which he'd rejected. He remembered telling her flat out just to leave him alone, that it was 'too little, too late'. He shook his head. “I wouldn't let her back in. She had every right to pull away. And that was my fault.”

 

**“That's fucking bullshit -”**

 

“You will be silent!” Ryota snapped, voice flushed with authority that he didn't really feel. He didn't miss the flicker of uncertainty that came across the doppelganger's face for that instant, before it scowled and lifted its chin in a show of defiance. “I'm not saying she wasn't wrong at all, but the truth of the matter is we _both_ could have handled it better. Yeah, things got worse between us, but with that and all the other stressors we were trying to deal with in _saving the world_ , I -”

 

He paused, realizing what he was about to say. He actually found himself giving a rueful smile. “I don't blame her for leaving. Not any more. Yuki did what she felt she had to.” He shrugged. “I just wish I knew if she was okay. I miss her. I wish I knew she was happy, wherever she is. But if she doesn't come back, that is her choice, and I won't be angry with her for that.”

 

Another tremor passed through the doppelganger. **“Wow, really?”** it grunted, rolling its eyes, **“How sentimental. Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night? Pff. That's not healthy, you know.”** It smiled again, although this one seemed slightly off; not that its entire demeanor wasn't off, but this one looked different from those which came before, as far as Ryota was concerned. Its face looked more pale, too. _Odd._

 

**“Please, you lie to yourself more than your mate does,”** it said. Noticing the confused look on Ryota's face it rolled its eyes again, stepping forward. It stretched out its fingers, and bringing a hand to its mouth it breathed its fire onto its claws until they glowed white from the heat. Ryota backed away as it sauntered toward him. Its face darkened as it quickened its pace, and it was all Ryota could do to keep it from appearing like he was running away from it.

 

**“You** _ **do**_ **know she doesn't actually love you, right?”** Ryota set his jaw, having to force himself to continue moving away. **“No, I suppose you wouldn't. You don't know anything about love. You've never experienced it, after all. Nothing real, anyway. I mean sure, there was a time when you thought you** _ **might**_ **have had feelings for Evelynn at one point – oh, sorry,”** it smirked, **“Her name was** _ **Morri**_ **, right, I remember now. But either way those dried up pretty quick after she murdered your mother.**

 

**“Haha, and just in case** _**that** _ **wasn't enough of a colossal fuck-up, you've gone and pledged yourself to the worst possible person you ever could have chosen. Well done.”**

 

“Excuse me?” Ryota growled, forgetting to keep moving. The doppelganger quickly took advantage. Giving a mighty flap of its wings it propelled itself through the air straight at him – with a slight flash of orange which he barely saw as it suddenly doubled its speed. He staggered back, surprised, recognizing it as a mythic ability of his own – which shouldn't have been all that shocking and yet somehow it still was – and with the lack of balance he failed to fully spin out of the way of the claws which raked across his back. He bit down hard on his tongue to keep himself from crying out. The sound of sizzling blood and smell of burning skin invaded his senses, and he had to fight down a wave of nausea as the doppelganger continued its rant.

 

**“Let's examine it, shall we?”** it said gleefully. It punched him hard in the stomach. Ryota gasped as the wind rushed out of him. **“I remember how badly you wanted to save her. That was why you hesitated, I bet, because you wanted** _ **sooo**_ **much to believe that deep down your precious Morri was still somewhere in there. But. You. Were.** _ **Wrong.**_ **You didn't know her at all.”** It drove its fist into his chest again. He coughed, spitting up blood and doubling over.

 

**“Just like you don't know Tenna.”**

 

“Don't...” Ryota coughed again, “You don't get to say her name. You don't.”

 

It raised an eyebrow. **“Oh, really. Tenna. Ten-na. Teeenna.”** Ryota glared, throwing himself at the doppelganger, and promptly was tossed aside by its wing. He swore loudly as he stumbled past. It didn't even turn to look at him, instead opting to just stretch its wings as it scanned the crowd. **“Where is she, by the way? You'd think she'd be watching.”** It turned about in place, still searching the sea of faces. When its eyes found Ryota again it almost looked surprised, as if it wasn't expecting him to still be there.

 

It frowned. **“Why would you ever believe anything she says?”** it asked, curiosity seeping into its voice, **“She's openly admitted to constantly lying to your face.”** It tilted its head to the side, as if confused. Then its face hardened again as it reached out and slammed its fist into Ryota one more time, just above his stomach. He dropped to all fours, struggling to catch his breath.

 

“N-never... about anything... important,” he choked out between breaths, “I'm sure... she has... h-her reasons.”

 

The doppelganger kicked him in the side with enough force to throw him several feet across the arena floor. He rolled to a stop next to something long and black and wrapped in a dark red ribbon – it almost looked like... _Guess now I know what tore earlier_ , he thought, subconciously reaching up to touch the back of his neck where his ponytail definitely was _not_ anymore _. Son of a bitch._

 

**“Stop it stop it stop it!”** it shrieked, **“Stop with the excuses! Are you really that stupid?! She doesn't care about you at all! She's taken advantage of your grief and has been manipulating you for years! You're just so fucking** _ **desperate**_ **for companionship that of** _ **course**_ **you fell for it.** _ **Because**_ _ **you couldn't stand being alone anymore.**_ **And it's all been a lie, every day of it!”**

 

While he wasn't one-hundred percent certain how it was both faster and stronger than him, Ryota knew one easy way to at least tilt the scales back toward even ground – and he was done holding himself back. Since it arrived, it had done nothing but spout slander about himself and his sister and his mother, and he would be _damned_ if he let it do the same to Tenna.

 

Closing his eyes, he reached inward for his own draconic abilities. **“The only reason you're not dead yet is because she's still using you. She doesn't care about you for** _ **you –**_ **she never has.”** _Ignore it,_ Ryota thought to himself. Why was this taking so long? _Why can't I do this?_ He focused harder, trying to find the warmth of the fire in his bloodline, but all he felt was cold, and strangely hollow. _This isn't right. What's going on?_

 

**“She's only ever been after you for your power – power you don't even want!”** Feeling the air shift above him, Ryota's eyes snapped open, just in time to roll out of the way of the boot that was coming down toward his head. Again he tried to call the flame forward. Again all he felt was a chilling lack of its presence. _What's wrong with me?!_

 

The doppelganger grinned widely, staring down at him. **“And now,”** it said maliciously, **“** _ **Now**_ **you can't even use it!”** Ryota paled. Once more he rolled to avoid a kick that was aimed for his head. At the end of the roll he forced himself to his feet – _been on the ground more in the last ten minutes than I have in the last five years of fighting combined._ He shook the thought from his mind with an annoyed scowl.

 

**“She's a** _ **Demon**_ **for fuck's sake! All they care about is power!”** it laughed, **“Of course you caught her attention! But now that you've lost yours, there's no reason for her to stay. She's going to leave you, just like everyone else.”** _Shut up shut up shut up!_ **“Because even to a Demon, you're completely fucking worthless.”**

 

He said nothing. As much as he didn't want to admit to even the _slightest_ possibility, what if it was right? He remembered their accidental trip to Hell – where Tenna had become a Demon in the first place. He remembered her not even trying to fight the change. _What if she is different now, and I just didn't notice it?_ The chill spread throughout the rest of his body as he came to the realization that maybe, _just maybe_ , he really didn't know her as well as he thought he did. _She wouldn't do that, not to me... would she?_ His shoulder ached from where she'd shot him back in Gilrevaen.

 

**“You're nothing. You never will be. Shit, you won't even** _ **try**_ **to tell me I'm wrong.”** It turned its back on him. Somehow, after everything it had done since it appeared, to have it just dismiss him like that was more intimidating than anything else. _What if it's been right about everything? It hasn't..._ Ryota looked at the ground, desperate to think of just _one_ thing the doppelganger said that was a complete and utter lie. There had to be something. His heartbeat increased as he realized that all of its words were true – in one way or another. But it had to be lying about Tenna. _I won't believe that she would lie about that. I won't._

 

_What am I doing here?_ He wondered, looking down at his feet. _What made me think I could do this? How could I ever have expected to be a decent ruler when I won't even acknowledge the truth when its right in front of me?_

 

It started laughing again, spinning about in a little circle. **“It's funny, isn't it?!”** it shouted, speaking to the audience, still ignoring him, **“Three years ago he wanted nothing more than to die! The man the Empire is relying on to hold it together? Can't even stop himself from falling apart!”**

 

_But it's not too late to start,_ the smallest voice in the back of his mind whispered, _Just have to get through this first_. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. Glancing back up his eyes locked onto the doppelganger, who was staring down at its hands, completely frozen in place – a web of orange light jolted across its body as the colors faded for an instant, returning a moment later brighter than they were before. _What happened?_

 

It whirled around to face him, rage contorting its features to the point where he almost didn't recognize it. Ryota found himself unwillingly taking a step back. **“No, no, no,** _ **NO!**_ **”** it screamed, **“** _ **You don't get to win!**_ **”** Fire streamed from its mouth into the air around it. **“** _ **I should have killed you why didn't I just kill you you're pathetic you don't get to live you don't deserve to live you shouldn't exist!Why don't I just put him out of his misery?! It should be me! IT ALWAYS SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!”**_

 

Ryota's eyes widened as he watched it thrashing its wings and swinging its head wildly from side to side. It doubled over, still screaming in fury, grabbing at its hair, and when it straightened itself out it let loose another burst of dragon's fire straight up into the air. When it dissipated, the doppelganger dropped to its hands and knees on the ground, snarling viciously, and Ryota took yet another step back when he realized what was happening.

 

Several of the closest audience members leaned forward in their seats as the air was permeated with the sound of creaking, popping bones. Its joints began to rearrange, changing the orientation of its legs and arms as they doubled in length, while its torso noticeably bulked out further. Its wings grew even bigger in size, and from its flesh erupted bright, shining, crimson scales. Ryota lowered himself into a defensive stance as he watched its neck become longer, and twin curling horns rip themselves free of the skin under its hairline as its face elongated into a massive snout – unquestionably full of large fangs that he had no doubt he would be needing to find a way to stay out of fairly soon.

 

When it finished changing, the dragon – easily now at least four times his size - turned its face to Ryota and roared. _Oh shit oh shit oh shit!_ He decided that he would very much like to have his naginata right now. Out of his peripheral vision however he noticed the Oracles who were watching the spectacle were strangely stone-faced – _were they expecting this to happen?! Are they really treating this like part of the Challenges?!_

 

While the Oracles were calm, the people in the stands certainly were _not._ Many of them, he saw – mostly those who had been leaning forward just a brief few seconds ago – were now getting up and attempting to climb over the backs of their seats, trying to get away from the enraged beast facing him down. The resulting clamor was overwhelming in comparison to how quiet it had been before. He could hear several small children crying as their parents whisked them away to a safer distance.

 

It roared again, attempting to pounce right on top of him. Ryota had to scramble to get out of the way, heart pounding as he saw its claws – talons now, really – gouge into the stone where he'd just been standing. _Okay, I've fought dragons before,_ he thought as he slid underneath one of its wings as it tried to swipe at him again, _and both times I was in a worse situation than this, I can handle this. I can handle this!_ He broke into a dash to see if maybe he could lure it closer to the center of the arena. It spun around, flapping its wings to push it faster. The artificial wind nearly pushed Ryota off his feet.

 

He was less worried about that than he was about the fire breath that followed him a second later. He felt the heat of the flames licking at the stones and dirt under his feet as he just barely avoided them, dropping into a roll when he inevitably lost his balance. Turning to face the dragon again he realized that some of the stone where he'd just been running had melted under the heat, and in some spots he could see the telltale glimmer of glass where before there had been sand. _I should have at least a few seconds before it can do that again, at least. Shit._

 

Ryota danced back on his heels, ducking and weaving and trying to stay out of its reach until he thought of a way to fight back. At least before he'd had the use of his own claws. Not much of a weapon against a dragon, but if he hit it in the eyes at least he could _irritate_ it. The air around him _whooshed_ as it snapped its teeth shut mere centimeters to his left. _Too close!_ It swiped one massive hand toward his chest, fully intending to split his body into several different pieces. For something that large, he underestimated how quickly it was able to swing, and so the only thing he could think of to do to get out of the way was to fall to the ground and hope it went right over him.

 

Of course, that would make him an easier target if he wasn't able to get back up. _But,_ he thought as he went down, _better than being dead._ Tapping into his mythic speed – because at least _that_ was still available to him - he shoved himself back up as soon as the hand went clear, and took off back toward the other side of the coliseum again. It wasn't the best stalling tactic, but it would have to do, because if he'd kept going the other way, he would quickly run out of room to move.

 

The dragon, however, was none too happy about the potential loss of its plaything. It hissed, craning its neck to look over its shoulder. Ryota almost thought he was just out of threat range, but its tail sweeping in from the side quickly put that thought to rest. It slammed into his stomach, sweeping him off his feet, and using the momentum from the slap it redirected its trajectory to the ground. He shouted as it pounded him into the floor. Finding it difficult to breathe for a moment, he couldn't bring himself to even want to stand, even though he knew he needed to. His entire upper body felt like agony. The tiny shards of glass digging into his back probably weren't helping too much.

 

Groaning, he had to shake the stars from his eyes as he rolled over onto his stomach, looking back at the dragon, certain he was about to meet his end. Surprisingly, however, it seemed something else had snared its attention while he was down. It growled loudly in its throat, tromping closer to the edge of the arena. Ryota followed its gaze with his own eyes, and he felt the breath rush out of him again when he saw the terrified little boy wailing for help directly in its path – the noise had to have been what attracted it. Everyone else was fleeing that section of the stands, except for the woman he assumed was the boy's mother who ran to retrieve her child.

 

The dragon reared up on its hind legs, roaring again. Ryota flinched despite himself, rushing back to his feet as quickly as he could, trying as hard as he could to ignore the screaming in his limbs. In a moment of pure, stupid inspiration he snatched the length of his ponytail off the ground and sprinted straight toward it. He could see its neck rearing back as it inhaled, and he willed himself to move faster, running straight onto its outstretched tail and jumping up as high as he could onto one of the spikes on its back. _Come on come on come on!_ The boy screamed louder, and the woman put herself between the dragon and her son.

 

Ryota kicked off the spike and brought his arms and his makeshift 'rope' down across the top of its snout in a desperate attempt to shut its mouth before it breathed fire on them. He wasn't entirely successful – it snapped shortly after coming into contact with the dragon's scales – but it worked long enough to at least redirect its aim to the space just feet below them, thus preventing them from being burned alive. He would have breathed a sigh of relief if not for his current position.

 

It thrashed its head from left to right, trying to throw him off, roaring in rage. It was all he could to to hold on to it, wrapping his arms around its neck and squeezing as tightly as he could. He knew he couldn't strangle it, but it was really more so he could keep himself from being tossed away than anything else.

 

When it appeared that Ryota wasn't going anywhere of his own volition, the dragon brought its forelegs back down onto the stone floor. The ground quaked underneath its weight, and again it tried to shake him off. When that didn't work, it arched its back, and stretching its wings, Ryota didn't even have time to yell out as it took off into the air.

 

The ground quickly fell away beneath them, and where before Ryota had been holding on for some sort of control, now he was holding on for dear life. They rose higher and higher above the arena with every flap of its wings, and maybe if he would have had time to enjoy it, he might have appreciated the way the city laid out before his eyes. Pinpoints of people stopped and stared in the streets at the dragon rising from the coliseum grounds, but they, too, vanished quickly from sight.

 

Ryota buried his face into its neck, trying to focus on just staying on the dragon. If he could force himself not to sweat he would gladly, if only to make sure his grip didn't falter in the slightest. His ears popped as they continued to ascend, making it near impossible to hear anything aside from the rushing of the blood in his veins. _Flying is a lot less enjoyable when I can't control how I get down!_ He thought, panicked. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could almost hear Kenshin teasing him about it later; _“There's a word for that. It's called 'falling'.” Yeah well fuck you too, buddy, I'd like to see YOU do better._ Maybe trying to grapple the angry dragon had been a mistake.

 

And just as suddenly, they stopped. Or at least, stopped going _up_. Once again it was trying to shake him off. Without any real choice in the matter he tried to hold tighter, but he was already feeling the strain in his muscles telling him that he wasn't going to be able to much longer. _Spirits, I'm going to die here_. He shut his eyes against the whipping of the wind around him. _If I do, I wonder if it'll die with me? It... It was supposed to be me, right?_

 

It made sense. Everything it said while in the more humanoid form... it was all thoughts and feelings he'd had at one point or another in his life. That didn't mean he still did, at least, not often, but it only could have known them if it had access to his thoughts and memories. Right? _No... not supposed to be... it_ is.

 

_This is what I would have become,_ he realized, feeling his hands pulling apart from the erratic movement. Any second now. _If I'd never gotten past the anger, if... if I'd never found a purpose... this would have been me. And deep down, it is, because some parts of me still feel like I haven't._

 

It shuddered, and another roar ripped itself out of its throat.

 

_I never accepted what happened. I kept fighting it. Kept denying how I felt, about the Empire, about my family, about... about myself._

 

_Little late for that, now, ha.._ He gave a dry laugh, which gave way to a panicked yelp as he completely lost his grip. The dragon shook its head and launched him straight upward, howling as the orange lightning passed through it again. As Ryota tumbled through the air he saw it flailing as it started to dissolve back into the black and orange mist. Its eyes glowed with hatred, and it tried one last time to engulf him in flames, but it was gone before the fire left its mouth.

 

Somehow he felt like the faint mist particles weren't going to do much to break his fall.

 

From several hundred feet up.

 

_Oh, fuck._

 

The air whistled as he plummeted toward the ground. His mind blanked and the only thing he was able to think of for several seconds was the horiffic red mess he was going to make when he landed. Tears from the wind blurred his vision as his breath was ripped away from him. In that instant, he thought of Tenna.

 

_“If you die out there, I'll find you in Hell and smack your bitch-ass face.”_

 

_I promised._

 

Ryota looked down to see the ground rushing up toward him. He estimated less than 30 seconds before he made contact. Not much time. His instincts kept telling him to summon his wings, but even though the doppelganger had vanished he still was faced with the freezing hole where that part of him should be. He had to pull back from it before the chill numbed the rest of him. It was cold enough up here without him adding to it.

 

_I'm sorry._

 

20 seconds.

 

He closed his eyes again, quickly sorting through every other option he had. One blaringly obvious answer came to mind. He almost wanted to slap himself for not thinking of it immediately.

 

Just because his draconic side was gone, didn't mean his magic was. If he still had access to his mythic abilities – and just to be certain he did he activated his protection aura, which made him feel only slightly more safe – he should still be able to cast. And so he picked the only spell he knew that might help.

 

_Alright, focus._ The words that slipped out of his mouth were anything but intelligible, but he could still hear the arcane nature of them. However, combined with the lack of breathable air and his fine motor skills considerably hampered, the spell slipped away from him. _Damnit! No!_

 

15 seconds.

 

_I'm not going to break my word!_

 

He had to try again. This time Ryota's attempt was accompanied by another orange flash of light, and as he shouted the last of the words, a tear in the fabric of reality stretched open beneath him. To the spectators below, he just vanished from sight. A collective shout rose from the stadium as he disappeared, cut short when a second gate tore open some twenty feet off the arena floor, this one oriented sideways. His body launched out of it, spinning through the air – he'd managed to aim it so he came out at an upward angle to try to reduce some of his falling speed, but it still flung him almost all the way across the arena.

 

Hitting the ground went about as smoothly as he could have expected. He heard a sickening crunch as a lance of pain flared to life along his left arm – the point of initial contact – which only grew as he bounced repeatedly along the floor. The same leg followed suit, though thankfully without the gritty feeling of something grinding itself to bits. Part of him hoped he would just pass out right there, if only so he didn't have to feel either.

 

By the time he skidded to a stop, facedown thirty feet from the nearest wall, at least the pain in his arm had gone away. His leg still throbbed persistently, keeping him locked in awareness, however dazed. For several long moments he just lay there. He didn't even want to breathe for fear of irritating his ribs.

 

The audience watched with baited breath – was he dead? He wasn't moving. The people who had the closest seats leaned over the edges, trying to get a better look at the body. His left side was drenched in blood – how much had he really lost?

 

_Head hurts,_ Ryota moaned inwardly, _everything hurts._ Despite the ringing in his ears, he began to pick up some of the murmurings of the crowd. _Right. Not over. Need to get up._

 

That sounded like the worst idea. He wasn't sure if he would even be able to stand. _Tired._ Someone gave a shout as his fingers twitched. _Get up._ He could feel every set of eyes on him, waiting. Waiting for him to stand, in most cases, waiting for him to give up and die in others. _Get up!_ He groaned, trying to pull himself together.

 

He clenched his teeth, trying to fight back the pain as he moved his knees underneath him. When he tried to push himself up off the ground, he realized too late that his left arm wasn't going to support his weight at all. Immediately it buckled underneath him, and he couldn't stop himself from giving a strangled cry when the hurt came back clearer and even more intense than before. Tears sprang unbidden to his eyes, and cradling his left arm close to his chest he rested his forehead on the ground, both unable and unwilling to move until it died down to throbbing once more.

 

Ryota gulped down several lungfuls of air before trying again. _Get up, goddamnit!_ Spirits, he felt like someone had taken a warhammer to him. Or five. _Come on, one step at a time._ He managed to get one foot flat on the ground, and slowly, _slowly_ , he was able to push himself to his feet. He wobbled two steps before falling back to his knees as his leg spasmed again. _Can't give up._ Staggering back up was easier the second time around, thankfully, although being as lightheaded as he was he wasn't certain how long he'd stay upright.

 

The crowd waited until he didn't look like he was about to fall over again before they began cheering, twice as loudly as they had after the completion of the first test. He didn't think he could work up the energy to smile. Instead he settled on trying to at least straighten his posture – although he kept most of his weight on his right side.

 

“The contestant has passed the second test!” While he still had no idea _how_ , Ryota supposed in this case he'd just take the win. He'd get answers later, when he wasn't so exhausted. When he looked up at the announcer, however, he noticed that the watching Oracles now looked far less than pleased, going as far as frowning and whispering to each other while still staring at him. _I'm just full of surprises, aren't I? Even to you._ Kenshin, on the other hand, had an extremely smug look on his face. Although when their eyes met Ryota could swear he was in for a rather long lecture later – _probably about how stupid that was. Maybe it'll put me to sleep._

 

That brought a small smile to his face, and he almost shook his head before he remembered he probably shouldn't do anything that would end with him back on the floor. _Not sure how much more of this I can take._

 

_Tenna's going to kill me._

 

Bringing his attention back to the ground level, he watched another of the Oracles walking out to meet him in the center of the arena. In her arms she carried a deep crimson pillow, and on that pillow was the amulet which would be the source, and the judge, of the final test. _Thank the Spirits it's almost over._ He inhaled sharply, already feeling the power radiating from the trinket.

 

“-Should the Dragon Spirit within deem him worthy, we will know. Ryota Meiyoken, do you accept this challenge?”

 

He nodded, being careful not to do it too fast. “Yes,” he said, probably a little louder than was necessary. His ears were still ringing too much for him to be able to hear very well.

 

Since it was obvious he couldn't exactly take it himself, the Oracle had him bow his head so she could hang the amulet around his neck. As soon as she let go and stepped back, he was on his knees again, and this time there was nothing he could do to hold back the screaming that erupted from his throat.

 

The agony that came to life within him made all the other pain, from the broken arm to the bruised up leg to the stabbing in his chest and lungs, feel like nothing more than a playful knock to the shoulder from Yuki. There was the briefest moment where he wondered if this was what it felt like to be iron in the forge; to have every one of his flaws and imperfections seared away from him, to become something worth working with. The heat which surged into him burned hotter than any flame he'd ever known. He felt like he was entirely covered in fire, and it would only be a matter of time before he was reduced to nothing but his core.

 

Some part of him wanted to find any way to expel the fire, wishing he could access the power to breathe it just to get it _out_ , but the other half stubbornly continued to fight for life.

 

Deep within himself he heard the voice, whispering to itself in some ancient version of what he knew to be the language of dragons – judging him for who and what he was. Bodily, Ryota continued to scream, even as he was pulled mentally to stand under its gaze. All he felt from it was amusement and a morbid curiosity, and the pressure of the flames increased only slightly, but still he refused to beg for mercy. It spoke to him then. The words flowed in and out of him like music, and while he didn't know exactly what was being said, he understood the question he was being asked.

 

“Whatever it takes,” he responded.

 

The music crescendoed, and the fire tore through him even hotter – like magma being poured through his veins. It swirled around inside him, filling in the empty holes, but seconds later it cooled and shattered, leaving nothing behind but a strange, almost comforting warmth.

 

He'd stopped screaming.

 

Ryota sat on his knees, breathing heavily, with a faraway stare in his eyes. The Oracle reached out to touch his shoulder, but abruptly pulled away when he gasped, coughing out smoke, and stood calmly, easily brushing aside the worst of the ache in his legs.

 

The Oracle backed away, eyes widening. In her expression, he knew Tenna had been right – they were expecting him to die. _Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not going anywhere._ He met the woman's gaze, staring her down, telling her just from that action he knew – but he wasn't going to do anything about it.

 

She was the first to break eye contact. She looked back up to the other Oracles, as if searching for an answer. A nod was exchanged, and Ryota saw them share a few words with the announcer before they turned their bodies to face him.

 

In unison, they bowed.

 

The crowd went absolutely wild, cheering with an enthusiasm unrivaled by any since Yuki had passed the Challenges near ten years ago. They completely drowned out the announcer’s voice, but it was easy enough to guess what was being said;

 

Ryota Meiyoken, the rightful heir to the throne, had passed the Dragon Challenges.

 


End file.
